![dual family sex dual family sex](http://img30.imagetwist.com/th/18170/zwsodfbx8x4x.jpg)
It took me many years and 3,000 miles of distance for me to realize my mother was not just a parent, but a person with life experiences of her own. I've always been grateful that my mother encouraged me to ask any and all questions that my public schools couldn't answer - questions like, "Oh my god, are the lumps under my nipples cancer?" (No.) Or, "Does it make me less of a feminist if I fantasize about being dominated?" (No, not if that's what I really want.) That openness was valuable to me. So many people I know can barely talk to their parents about sex, or their queer identity, or their multiple partners, never mind their lives as sex workers.
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Yes, that is an incredibly weird thing to say. Thankfully, we now have a deeply loving, playfully teasing relationship - not just as mother and daughter, but as friends.Īnd we got there thanks, in part, to porn. While I thought that she was just trying to ruin my life (as teenagers are wont to believe) I realize now how she was trying to protect me from the trauma that she experienced when she was my age. It took me many years and 3,000 miles of distance for me to realize my mother was not just a parent, but a person with life experiences of her own. The tchotchkes around the house that gave her such joy made me want to scream, and the pop culture I adored seemed toxic and damaging to her feminist politics.
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We were too dissimilar: she, a methodical scientist and introvert me, a free-spirited writer and extrovert. At the age of 16, I was sure that I would never speak to her again once I could move out of the house. I had a tense and antagonistic relationship with my mother when I was growing up.